Turning the Big 3-0

I was so not looking forward to turning the Big 3-0. That number was so frightening to me! I have always imagined being in a different place in life when I turned 30. I thought I would have been married with a bunch of kids running around. So being single and 30 was certainly not my ideal! As 30 was approaching I just tried not to think about it because just thinking about it made me cringe. I mean who wants to turn 30? Let alone a single woman, who doesn't have a dating life to speak of...I mean how depressing!?! Back in the olden days if you were single at 30 you were considered a spinster...eekkk!

My Dad threw my Mom for her 30th (mind you she had all kids by 28) a surprise funeral. I'm not kidding!! Only for him to whisk her away for 2 weeks. Everyone I talked to about turning 30 was married and had kids...so of course 30  was a great bday for them. They had someone to share it with and had gotten everything they wanted , everything I desired having.

But turning 30 wasn't bad...it actually wasn't bad at all! It was amazing! The best one yet! A weekend getaway, extravagant gifts and 4 Bday celebrations later and I can't complain! All thanks to my wonderful family and friends.  In fact I think I just might decide to turn 30 again next September. Because it was the most incredible Bday celebration of my life! UNFORGETTABLE!! I felt like a Rock Star!

I can't believe all that I have accomplished in the last 30 years and can't wait to see what all GOD is going to do in my life, how He is going to use me and what all He has planned for me. I am so thankful for the life GOD has given me and the amazing things He is using me for. I am especially thankful for my Amazing Family and Friends and how special they made me feel on my Big 30th. I love seeing the way GOD puts things together...don't you?

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

This month has very special meaning for me not just because it’s Domestic Violence Awareness Month but also because I have a personal tie to this month, because of being a survivor of Domestic Violence (DV). And I have had the honor of being the Guest Speaker at 2 DV events this month. But I don’t enjoy being a survivor of DV, it’s not something I asked for or deserved. I didn’t grow up wanting to be the face of DV. My life has had some devastating turn of events. That have left their mark and caused me intense pain and much sorrow. I wish I had the power to go back in time and remove these events from my life…protect myself from this harm and pain. But I don’t have that power! Life is unpredictable – for better or worse…It just is what it is.

At my speaking event last weekend we had a Q & A, in which the 110 women (including a couple of AZ Governors) that I spoke in front of asked me for my expert opinion on DV. It wasn’t until after I spoke that I thought about how if there was anything I wanted to be an expert on…DV wasn’t it! And that thought saddened me!! During my speech I talked about my healing process and how without GOD I wouldn’t be where I am today. Afterwards I had women coming up to me hugging me and telling me, “What you said really hit home”, “You’re an excellent public speaker I can’t believe this is the first time you have spoken in front of a group this size”, “I love how you said with GOD all things are possible and I wish there was more people like you out there”, “You’re so brave…thank you for sharing”.

Their words really touched me! I knew in that moment that what I went through…what I had endured wasn’t in vain! It had a purpose and that purpose was to encourage, inspire and empower other Victims/Survivors of DV. And just like the verse Genesis 50:20 (What satan meant for evil you intended for good, the saving of many lives.) that I had shared with the women during my speech, I knew was not only true that day but would be true all days as my lasting legacy. Because I would be known as a brave woman, a former victim now survivor of DV who through it all found my voice and was allowing GOD to use me to inspire, empower and encourage other women through the traumatic events, trials and tribulations that I have gone through. I am so grateful GOD can use anyone at any place through any situation! I love when GOD takes our ugly scraps and creates a beautiful tapestry from them. 

Adventures in Dating

So this post will be touching on 2 things: First of all this is my response to the Dating Panel my young adults/singles group at church had last Sunday night. And Secondly it's a follow-up to a previous post called "Singleness in the Church" which is a post regarding this same church group.

A friend of mine had asked me to write a post about the Dating panel (made up of some of our church elders) I attended on Sunday. I had a lot of thoughts about what was said that night and will be sharing with you some of my feedback on the panel's discussion. I need to state that my thoughts I share are mine alone and I realize that not everyone will agree...which is ok...since this is my blog. ;)

Here are things I learned and my thoughts will be in red:

One of the elders said, "Men don't like long walks on the beach unless the walk has a destination"!
~~ I disagree because I know many men that love these long walks with their significant other...and in my opinion long walks on the beach are a great way to romance the woman who has captured your heart...though that may depend on the woman...not every woman is a hopeless romantic like me. :)

We were informed that there isn't necessarily "ONE" person created specifically just for you...as long as he/she is a christian there could be a few potential candidates that could be that "Infamous ONE" ~~That revelation did burst my romantic bubble...NO - more like crushed it!! - here I thought GOD had woven(tailored) "The ONE" with just me in mind :(...Hmm after 29 yrs that's good to finally know that isn't the case...haha.

Qualities that are a must have in your future spouse:
1) Humble Heart
2) Grateful Heart
3) Generous Heart &
4) Servants Heart
~~ Well put and I whole-heartily agree!!! :)

Dating has benefits and those are:
*To get know yourself & other people
*To sharpen each other (Proverbs 27:17 - as iron sharpens iron)
*To build relationship skills
*To help heal and repair &
*It has valuue
~~ Infact the Elders encouraged us to date...so guys your orders have given by the Elders...they have handed you the torch...so pursue away...hint hint ;)

Regarding Dating & Sex (Galations 6:7 - a man reaps what he sows)
"Sex is pilates with a jolt, it's deep intimacy" ~ Tim Kimmel
Things you don't do:
1)DON''T go over to each others homes
2) DON'T go parking &

3) DON'T make out a lot!!

Hand to body = LAUNCH CODE (for guys)

Even looking at a girl can activate the LAUNCH CODE!

~~LAUNCH CODE = Houston we have a problem!!....Girls we need to do everything we can to protect these guys! After hearing this panel discussion on Dating...I am so glad that I wrote my recent post "To Hug Or Not To Hug"...if you haven't read it, you should! :)

On a final note these 4 books were recommended:

1) Boundaries in Dating by Townsend/Cloud

2) Love for a Lifetime by Dr. James Dobson

3) The Meaning of Marriage by Tim Keller &

4) The Invisible Bond by Barbara Wilson

Overall I thought the discussion was very informative and I learned a lot! :)

To HUG Or Not To HUG!?!

Living a life of purity is not an easy one to live because it doesn't just pertain to sexual purity alone. It also involves how you carry yourself (how you live your life & your demeanor), how you present yourself ( the way you dress), your actions (the things you do or participate in) and your words (the things you say & the jokes you tell or laugh at). 2 Timothy 2:9-10 "Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works." Some of these actions may seem completely innocent...like hugging a friend - even a friend of the opposite sex.

But after talking to one of my guy friends...I was able to get a better understanding of how men react to our sexuality and physical attributes by just interacting with us and especially hugging us. I knew guys were turned on by touch...but I didn't realize how sensitive their bodies are to that touch. I didn't know that our scent draws them in and can be intoxicating to them...did you know that? And that just touching us by either their body brushing up against us as they pass us by or them giving us a hug while our bodies are embracing and touching theirs - will turn them on!...Causing them to say to themselves, "I liked that or those felt nice" and we cause them to stumble and cause them to have to fight that sexual temptation/urge/desire. I think us women sometimes forget the impact we have on guys just by breathing just by being ourselves. And I admit their are moments that I forget how easily affected men are by us.

I don't want to be the one who causes a brother in Christ to stumble let alone a non-christian. 1Corinthians 10:32 ^"Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God." Which is why I am writing this post and why GOD is leading me to make this change in my life that I am now making. For awhile now GOD has been strongly convicting me to stop hugging guys because of the damaging sinful impact that hug can have on these men who are trying to stay pure. I know many people reading this may not agree with what I am saying...In fact some may think I am weird or old fashioned but it doesn't matter because I don't live my life for them but for an "Audience of ONE". So after I spoke with this guy friend along with 2 of my girlfriends, it became even more clear what I needed to do.  So going forward I will NO LONGER be hugging any guys...except my male family members.

This decision isn't just to keep the men from stumbling but to also guard my heart while protecting theirs. Women are emotional beings and become emotionally attached very easily. Close contact (like hugging) with a guy can cause an emotional attachment to them. I don't need to be having an emotional attachment with anyone but my husband. And since the next guy I even kiss will be the guy I marry...I most certainly don't need to be hugging any guys. And especially with the way some of the guys hug - you know those full frontal hugs that places our faces so close to theirs making that hug become a very intimate encounter - will only set the scene for sin (whether sinful thought, desire etc.). Which isn't holy or wise!!

To my guy friends who I have hugged and who may not see hugging as a big deal or understand this sudden change..please know this has been something that has been heavy on my heart for years now. I appreciate you respecting this boundary. :)

 

When it Rains...it Pours!!



GOD's Rainbow (a symbol of His Promise of Hope)



I have been experiencing a lot of rain and bad thunderstorms(literally) while walking in the desert! But in life there can also be rain and thunderstorms. This pouring rain can either be a lot of good stuff, an overwhelming of bad stuff or even a mix of both. This past week has been a mix for me. So much so that the stress of it all took a toll on my health late last night. In midst of being at home group I found myself trying very hard to gain control of my extremities as they began to tingle and shake. During this time I was desperately trying to calm and reassure myself that I was going to be ok even though at the time I was on the verge of passing out and throwing up.

The circumstances in our life can take an emotional toll on our health causing our heart to feel like a never ending roller coaster. Fear and panic sets in. You try to tell yourself you're going to be ok when in the back of your mind you're wondering if something is really wrong or if you should just take the chance and wait it out and see if it will pass!?! You may even think you're handling everything well. Until you become physically ill and realize that isn't the case. Which is what happened to me last night.

There are many storms of life. Some you are blind sided by and others you may seem coming. Either way you can't escape them. You have to wait it out and walk through the storm to get to the other side to see that Rainbow of GOD's Promise of Hope after that storm. Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." As a child I never liked the rain but I am quickly learning to embrace it since it seems this season of life I am in is filled with theses storms. And not all storms are bad. Some may be positive change moving in the right direction but this positive change may still be accompanied with fear and anxiety.

I think back over this week and the 8 events that took place and the unpleasant things that happened. Yet out of those 8, 5 of these events were than countered with a positive experience or response. But all of this can still be overwhelming! Hence my health scare...but at least this time I didn't have to make a trip to the hospital and that is a indeed a positive! It's only Thursday and it seems like the possibility of more things happening is very likely...unfortunately. But I have found this to be true: Things are rarely what they seem and people and circumstances will always let you down! You need to ask yourself how much time, energy and power you're giving these circumstances and people. Because if you put your everything into these tangible things than you will always be let down! And you will be unable to see the rainbow peering through those clouds. :)

Romans 8:18 "For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us."

Ezekiel 1:28 "Like the appearance of a rainbow in the clouds on a rainy day, so was the radiance around him. This was the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the LORD. When I saw it, I fell facedown, and I heard the voice of one speaking."

~~Don't forget to look for that rainbow after the storm!~~ :)

Speaking Engagement...

Next month marks 3 yrs since my world was suddenly turned upside down. A time in my life that caused me to question everything I believed in. Events that I thought I'd never recover from or overcome. Now before, during and even after these events took place I had been getting more involved in my community and local organizations especially the Pro-Life movement.
 Even being known by the name "Esther" through out the Pro-Life community because of my involvement. And just like Esther was the voice for the Jews by risking her life for their safety. The Pro-Life individuals who stand outside the abortion mills praying and risking their lives (as they're threatened, arrested and some physically harmed) are also the voice for GOD's people...not just the Jewish race but the voice for an entire pre-born population (which includes ALL races)!!

I have always loved this verse: Esther 4:14 "For if you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews/pre-born(added) from another place, but you and your father's house will perish. And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?" Esther has always been my favorite book of the Bible as well as my favorite female Bible Hero...because she is a woman of profound strength and courage! A woman who risked her life and used her voice to save an entire race that had been sentenced to death! Over the years I have longed for the strength and courage of Esther to be able to use my voice to fight the injustice of this world!

Sadly though there have been more times than not when my voice has been silenced and the courage to stand up and use it stripped away from me by others.  So over the past 3 yrs I have been working on regaining that strength and finding the courage to finally use my voice! My life verse while "Walking With GOD In The Desert" over these past years has been: Genesis 50:20 "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." During these trials, tests and tribulations that I have gone through, experienced and continue to go through - this verse has encouraged me that everything I have endured has not been in vain but indeed has a purpose!

Which brings me to my defining moment...my "Esther" moment, so to speak. The "such a time as this" moment that GOD has been preparing me for. I had no idea that He would choose to use me in such an incredible way! That He would grant me this desire, this longing of my heart that I have had for quite some time! This incredible opportunity is an honor and such an humbling experience for me!  This opportunity, this moment when I step forward with the strength and courage that Esther had that day, is taking place in a couple months when I will be standing/speaking before 130 women as their key note speaker!

As I prepare to stand before these women of all walks of life: Women who have struggled and suffered. Women who are broken, discouraged, alone and at their "witz end". Women who have been rejected, betrayed, lied to and violated in the worst ways. I now have the humbling opportunity to use my own life experiences to encourage and inspire! To speak truth and shower them with GOD's love! And to use my voice to speak on behalf of hundreds of thousands of women whose voices have been silenced and to represent those who will never be able to use their voice again! I have the honor to stand before them with the strength and courage of Bible Heroes of the past on this platform GOD has given and entrusted me with. Leading by example by showing these women that they can overcome and survive anything and that they're not walking through this ALONE!!

I don't know how GOD is going to use me on this defining day. Even if 1 woman can find the strength and courage to find and use her voice! Then everything I went through was indeed not in vain and my time speaking in front of these women was a great success!! Please pray for me as I prepare my speech for this women's event. That GOD will give me the words He wants me to speak.  I have never spoken on this type of platform before. So I am a little nervous but very excited and I feel truly blessed!
Thank you again for your prayers and I will keep you posted! :)

What books am I reading??...

Well I am notorious for reading more than one book at a time with pen and highlighter in hand. What can I say I am my Father's daughter!! :) My Dad is one of the smartest people I know and after seeing him read about 4 books at a time with pens and highlighters in hand. I knew there had to be good reason for this and there is ...you actually learn more, retain more and it causes me to crave more knowledge. And knowledge is power!!


So here are the books I am reading right now:
•Lady In Waiting
•More Beautiful You
•Gift of Fear
•Calm My Anxious Heart
•The Resolution for Women
•Lies Women Believe

Yes you read that correctly...I am reading 6 books at the same time. My goal is to have them read by the end of August and I plan on writing a post on each. I just love reading a good book(s). Don't you!?! :)