Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Adventures in Dating


So this post will be touching on 2 things: First of all this is my response to the Dating Panel my young adults/singles group at church had last Sunday night. And Secondly it's a follow-up to a previous post called "Singleness in the Church" which is a post regarding this same church group.


A friend of mine had asked me to write a post about the Dating panel (made up of some of our church elders) I attended on Sunday. I had a lot of thoughts about what was said that night and will be sharing with you some of my feedback on the panel's discussion. I need to state that my thoughts I share are mine alone and I realize that not everyone will agree...which is ok...since this is my blog. ;)

Here are things I learned and my thoughts will be in red:

One of the elders said, "Men don't like long walks on the beach unless the walk has a destination"!
~~ I disagree because I know many men that love these long walks with their significant other...and in my opinion long walks on the beach are a great way to romance the woman who has captured your heart...though that may depend on the woman...not every woman is a hopeless romantic like me. :)

We were informed that there isn't necessarily "ONE" person created specifically just for you...as long as he/she is a christian there could be a few potential candidates that could be that "Infamous ONE" ~~That revelation did burst my romantic bubble...NO - more like crushed it!! - here I thought GOD had woven(tailored) "The ONE" with just me in mind :(...Hmm after 29 yrs that's good to finally know that isn't the case...haha.

Qualities that are a must have in your future spouse:
1) Humble Heart
2) Grateful Heart
3) Generous Heart &
4) Servants Heart
~~ Well put and I whole-heartily agree!!! :)

Dating has benefits and those are:
*To get know yourself & other people
*To sharpen each other (Proverbs 27:17 - as iron sharpens iron)
*To build relationship skills
*To help heal and repair &
*It has valuue
~~ Infact the Elders encouraged us to date...so guys your orders have given by the Elders...they have handed you the torch...so pursue away...hint hint ;)

Regarding Dating & Sex (Galations 6:7 - a man reaps what he sows)
"Sex is pilates with a jolt, it's deep intimacy" ~ Tim Kimmel
Things you don't do:
1)DON''T go over to each others homes
2) DON'T go parking &
3) DON'T make out a lot!!
Hand to body = LAUNCH CODE (for guys)
Even looking at a girl can activate the LAUNCH CODE!
~~LAUNCH CODE = Houston we have a problem!!....Girls we need to do everything we can to protect these guys! After hearing this panel discussion on Dating...I am so glad that I wrote my recent post "To Hug Or Not To Hug"...if you haven't read it, you should! :)

On a final note these 4 books were recommended:
1) Boundaries in Dating by Townsend/Cloud
2) Love for a Lifetime by Dr. James Dobson
3) The Meaning of Marriage by Tim Keller &
4) The Invisible Bond by Barbara Wilson

Overall I thought the discussion was very informative and I learned a lot! :)

Saturday, August 25, 2012

To HUG Or Not To HUG!?!

Living a life of purity is not an easy one to live because it doesn't just pertain to sexual purity alone. It also involves how you carry yourself (how you live your life & your demeanor), how you present yourself ( the way you dress), your actions (the things you do or participate in) and your words (the things you say & the jokes you tell or laugh at). 2 Timothy 2:9-10 "Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works." Some of these actions may seem completely innocent...like hugging a friend - even a friend of the opposite sex.

But after talking to one of my guy friends...I was able to get a better understanding of how men react to our sexuality and physical attributes by just interacting with us and especially hugging us. I knew guys were turned on by touch...but I didn't realize how sensitive their bodies are to that touch. I didn't know that our scent draws them in and can be intoxicating to them...did you know that? And that just touching us by either their body brushing up against us as they pass us by or them giving us a hug while our bodies are embracing and touching theirs - will turn them on!...Causing them to say to themselves, "I liked that or those felt nice" and we cause them to stumble and cause them to have to fight that sexual temptation/urge/desire. I think us women sometimes forget the impact we have on guys just by breathing just by being ourselves. And I admit their are moments that I forget how easily affected men are by us.

I don't want to be the one who causes a brother in Christ to stumble let alone a non-christian. 1Corinthians 10:32 "Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God." Which is why I am writing this post and why GOD is leading me to make this change in my life that I am now making. For awhile now GOD has been strongly convicting me to stop hugging guys because of the damaging sinful impact that hug can have on these men who are trying to stay pure. I know many people reading this may not agree with what I am saying...In fact some may think I am weird or old fashioned but it doesn't matter because I don't live my life for them but for an "Audience of ONE". So after I spoke with this guy friend along with 2 of my girlfriends, it became even more clear what I needed to do.  So going forward I will NO LONGER be hugging any guys...except my male family members.

This decision isn't just to keep the men from stumbling but to also guard my heart while protecting theirs. Women are emotional beings and become emotionally attached very easily. Close contact (like hugging) with a guy can cause an emotional attachment to them. I don't need to be having an emotional attachment with anyone but my husband. And since the next guy I even kiss will be the guy I marry...I most certainly don't need to be hugging any guys. And especially with the way some of the guys hug - you know those full frontal hugs that places our faces so close to theirs making that hug become a very intimate encounter - will only set the scene for sin (whether sinful thought, desire etc.). Which isn't holy or wise!!
To my guy friends who I have hugged and who may not see hugging as a big deal or understand this sudden change..please know this has been something that has been heavy on my heart for years now. I appreciate you respecting this boundary. :)




 

Thursday, August 23, 2012

When it Rains...it Pours!!


GOD's Rainbow (a symbol of His Promise of Hope)

I have been experiencing a lot of rain and bad thunderstorms(literally) while walking in the desert! But in life there can also be rain and thunderstorms. This pouring rain can either be a lot of good stuff, an overwhelming of bad stuff or even a mix of both. This past week has been a mix for me. So much so that the stress of it all took a toll on my health late last night. In midst of being at home group I found myself trying very hard to gain control of my extremities as they began to tingle and shake. During this time I was desperately trying to calm and reassure myself that I was going to be ok even though at the time I was on the verge of passing out and throwing up.

The circumstances in our life can take an emotional toll on our health causing our heart to feel like a never ending roller coaster. Fear and panic sets in. You try to tell yourself you're going to be ok when in the back of your mind you're wondering if something is really wrong or if you should just take the chance and wait it out and see if it will pass!?! You may even think you're handling everything well. Until you become physically ill and realize that isn't the case. Which is what happened to me last night.

There are many storms of life. Some you are blind sided by and others you may seem coming. Either way you can't escape them. You have to wait it out and walk through the storm to get to the other side to see that Rainbow of GOD's Promise of Hope after that storm. Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." As a child I never liked the rain but I am quickly learning to embrace it since it seems this season of life I am in is filled with theses storms. And not all storms are bad. Some may be positive change moving in the right direction but this positive change may still be accompanied with fear and anxiety.

I think back over this week and the 8 events that took place and the unpleasant things that happened. Yet out of those 8, 5 of these events were than countered with a positive experience or response. But all of this can still be overwhelming! Hence my health scare...but at least this time I didn't have to make a trip to the hospital and that is a indeed a positive! It's only Thursday and it seems like the possibility of more things happening is very likely...unfortunately. But I have found this to be true: Things are rarely what they seem and people and circumstances will always let you down! You need to ask yourself how much time, energy and power you're giving these circumstances and people. Because if you put your everything into these tangible things than you will always be let down! And you will be unable to see the rainbow peering through those clouds. :)

Romans 8:18 "For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us."

Ezekiel 1:28 "Like the appearance of a rainbow in the clouds on a rainy day, so was the radiance around him. This was the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the LORD. When I saw it, I fell facedown, and I heard the voice of one speaking."

~~Don't forget to look for that rainbow after the storm!~~ :)




Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Speaking Engagement...

Next month marks 3 yrs since my world was suddenly turned upside down. A time in my life that caused me to question everything I believed in. Events that I thought I'd never recover from or overcome. Now before, during and even after these events took place I had been getting more involved in my community and local organizations especially the Pro-Life movement.
 Even being known by the name "Esther" through out the Pro-Life community because of my involvement. And just like Esther was the voice for the Jews by risking her life for their safety. The Pro-Life individuals who stand outside the abortion mills praying and risking their lives (as they're threatened, arrested and some physically harmed) are also the voice for GOD's people...not just the Jewish race but the voice for an entire pre-born population (which includes ALL races)!!

I have always loved this verse: Esther 4:14 "For if you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews/pre-born(added) from another place, but you and your father's house will perish. And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?" Esther has always been my favorite book of the Bible as well as my favorite female Bible Hero...because she is a woman of profound strength and courage! A woman who risked her life and used her voice to save an entire race that had been sentenced to death! Over the years I have longed for the strength and courage of Esther to be able to use my voice to fight the injustice of this world!

Sadly though there have been more times than not when my voice has been silenced and the courage to stand up and use it stripped away from me by others.  So over the past 3 yrs I have been working on regaining that strength and finding the courage to finally use my voice! My life verse while "Walking With GOD In The Desert" over these past years has been: Genesis 50:20 "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." During these trials, tests and tribulations that I have gone through, experienced and continue to go through - this verse has encouraged me that everything I have endured has not been in vain but indeed has a purpose!

Which brings me to my defining moment...my "Esther" moment, so to speak. The "such a time as this" moment that GOD has been preparing me for. I had no idea that He would choose to use me in such an incredible way! That He would grant me this desire, this longing of my heart that I have had for quite some time! This incredible opportunity is an honor and such an humbling experience for me!  This opportunity, this moment when I step forward with the strength and courage that Esther had that day, is taking place in a couple months when I will be standing/speaking before 130 women as their key note speaker!

As I prepare to stand before these women of all walks of life: Women who have struggled and suffered. Women who are broken, discouraged, alone and at their "witz end". Women who have been rejected, betrayed, lied to and violated in the worst ways. I now have the humbling opportunity to use my own life experiences to encourage and inspire! To speak truth and shower them with GOD's love! And to use my voice to speak on behalf of hundreds of thousands of women whose voices have been silenced and to represent those who will never be able to use their voice again! I have the honor to stand before them with the strength and courage of Bible Heroes of the past on this platform GOD has given and entrusted me with. Leading by example by showing these women that they can overcome and survive anything and that they're not walking through this ALONE!!

I don't know how GOD is going to use me on this defining day. Even if 1 woman can find the strength and courage to find and use her voice! Then everything I went through was indeed not in vain and my time speaking in front of these women was a great success!! Please pray for me as I prepare my speech for this women's event. That GOD will give me the words He wants me to speak.  I have never spoken on this type of platform before. So I am a little nervous but very excited and I feel truly blessed!
Thank you again for your prayers and I will keep you posted! :)

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

What books am I reading??...

Well I am notorious for reading more than one book at a time with pen and highlighter in hand. What can I say I am my Father's daughter!! :) My Dad is one of the smartest people I know and after seeing him read about 4 books at a time with pens and highlighters in hand. I knew there had to be good reason for this and there is ...you actually learn more, retain more and it causes me to crave more knowledge. And knowledge is power!!


So here are the books I am reading right now:
•Lady In Waiting
•More Beautiful You
•Gift of Fear
•Calm My Anxious Heart
•The Resolution for Women
•Lies Women Believe

Yes you read that correctly...I am reading 6 books at the same time. My goal is to have them read by the end of August and I plan on writing a post on each. I just love reading a good book(s). Don't you!?! :)

Friday, August 10, 2012

Shattered Dreams, Dashed Hopes & Left Broken Hearted...

I think the dynamics of relationships are very complex. I mean we are all relational beings, who desire intimacy and relationships with others. Trying to keep that relationship afloat can be challenging. A relationship takes 2 people. You both have to intentionally work at it. The more you spend time together, get to know one another and become part of each other's day to day life, you either continue to grow or you grow apart.

If you continue to grow closer...eventually your life goals and future plans (marriage, family etc.) are inevitably brought up and discussed. You may even be discussing future plans as a couple... a couple dreaming a life together and thus putting all your future hopes and dreams into that person, into that relationship.

But what happens when all the planning and all the dreams for your future come to a screeching halt and that magic carpet you've been flying on up on cloud 9 is unexpectedly pulled right out from underneath you? What happens when your dreams are shattered, your hopes dashed and all you're left with is a broken heart? What do you do?  

As I have looked back over my past broken relationships. I've realized something I didn't and maybe couldn't realize at the time. Those valley's were actually opportunities for me to grow and I now have info I didn't before. It's hard to know why things happened when you're still in the midst of the pain and the heartache. But looking back and seeing where these guys are now I am confident in saying, "Praise GOD for un-answered prayer!" Where these guys are now and the lives that they're living are not where I am or would want to be or the life I would want to live.

I am now able to look back and see the things that I either couldn't see or refused to see about these guys and realize now that GOD was actually protecting me! Poor GOD, because boy did I wrestle with Him a couple of times. But He can see so much further into the future than I can. There were times when I got so caught up in the emotions of the relationship that all I could see into the future was our big dreams that we had dreamed up together. The pure bliss I was feeling (at the time) caused me to dismiss some red flags and miss the the road signs up ahead that read, "Caution"..."Slow Down"..."Wrong Way"..."Do Not Enter"..."Stop"..."Dead End".

Of course I'm not saying that all these guys were bad. There were a number of reason's for why these relationships ended. Some times we wanted different things, sometimes they were jerks and other times they didn't value their faith as much as I did. But all in all they were just bad guys for me.

I've come to realize that when I am unable to let go of a relationship or do what I need to do to end it, GOD will sometimes step in and shut that door. I have actually prayed to Him in the past to shut doors that I knew I didn't have the courage to close myself. Some have taught me taught me much about my self, the kind of relationship I want and warning signs to avoid relationships I don't want to be in. 1 Corinthians 15:33 "Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”


All in all these relationships have taught me the importance of a strong foundation in every aspect of my life especially relationships. That a relationship should be built on the foundation of the Word of GOD and Jesus Christ alone! It's so important that as a Christian I date only like minded Christians...that I am not unequally yoked in my dating life. 2 Corinthians 6:14 " Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?"

Even though my dreams may have been shattered, my hopes dashed and my heart broke! It is GOD and His will with who I entrust my dreams and desires. It is God who I turn to when hope is difficult to find. And it is GOD who carries my heart, comforts my heart and heals my heart!! Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."









Thursday, August 9, 2012

The 12th Hour Miracle

Well I am sure some of you may be wondering what has happened since my most recent posts. "Home Sweet HomeLESS" and "Valley of the Unknown." Well I am certainly not homeLESS but there is still a lot about this valley that is unknown! From the start of this blog I said I was praying for a miracle. And the one that I got I wasn't expecting at all! :)

In fact I was beginning to think that GOD was going to answer my prayers by allowing me to lose my home and having to find a new one at some point. So I decided to put on a positive attitude and accepted this lot of mine...knowing GOD must have a reason for it and tried to look at it as an adventure. 1 John 5:14-15 "This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him."

That didn't mean this situation wasn't hard to swallow...The unknown of this eviction notice caused me great distress, anxiety and lots of fear even in the midst of trusting Him. But during this difficult time I have continued to call out to GOD and listen only to Christian music and watch only faith family movies.

It became clear to me as I packed up my things that I didn't really have a place to stay and that I would indeed be homeLESS!!Something I had never had to face before and that scared me to think about it. So after formulating a plan and talking to some people. By GOD's grace and His alone, some last minute funding came through. Psalm 40:1 "I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry."

I believe this unknown valley or the point of my faith being tested has been to help me to get over some fears of mine and to teach me to completely trust GOD no matter what the outcome. Trusting Him completely has been a struggle of mine as of late until this recent set back.

~~To my "Good Samaritans" - you know who you're! This verse is for you. Galations 6:2 "Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."  Thank you "Good Samaitans" for carrying my burdens! :)~~

Monday, August 6, 2012

The Valley of the Unknown

Eviction update: So today I was served the eviction notice. Letting me know that I have only 5 days to pay. After that I will be locked out. Holding that notice and reading those words I was overcome with fear and emotion. Immediately I called my parents and the woman discipling me. I knew I had to come up with a plan. So I called one friend while on my way to another friend's for dinner. After talking to both friends we were able to come up with a plan of action.

While at my one friend's house my family conferenced called me for an intervention, "Operation Rescue Bethany" - so to speak. :) They voiced only 2 options but none of these options were me staying in the desert with GOD. After they had expressed much concern, fear, love and the desire to rescue me. I in turn expressed to them that I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that the desert was exactly where I was meant to be.

That GOD promises us trials, tests & tribulations. And that I have to remian in the desert in order to see what's going to happen at the end of walking through this valley. I can't just run away to the comfort of the familiar when the going get's tough! Psalm 23:4 "Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me."

After I shared what GOD had revealed to me. My family replied, "I am proud of you for taking a stand and standing firm in what you believe in. And we support you!" That was an 180 degree turn from what they originally had expressed to me. Even causing my one friend to say, " Wow the way you and your family calmly spoke to each other, with no fighting was great to hear."

 In difficult situations when many people are voicing their opinions it's easy to get carried away but we didn't do that! Having the love and support of your family makes going through life so much easier! Thank you GOD for your blessings and the trials of this life that are your mercies in disguise!

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Home Sweet HomeLESS

Being unemploymed can be a scary thing. You find yourself faced with the unknown! Unaware of how long you will be unemployed, if you'll be able to find a job in this job market and if you do, will it financially support you!?! At first you're hopeful that something will open up but as the weeks turn into months, you start to panic! You try to hold onto your faith and to think positive thoughts and keep looking for a job. But as the 1st approaches you try to prepare yourself for the worst. Realizing you're in this one on your own and that there is no calvary in sight, you don't know what to do! You have already exhausted all your resources and dont know where to turn! I could sell furniture and heirloom jewelry and get less than its actually worth. Of course at times like these it seems that lots of ideas pop up in your head...of ways to make money fast. Ways that are probably wrong, illegal even and definitely immoral! Why is it that during difficult times in your life the saying, "desperate times call for desperate measures" comes to mind? As if saying that doing something drastic or sinning is the only way out of your problems!?! Of course by now you're praying for a miracle because your past that 12th hour mark when you were sure GOD would have stepped in only to realize He just might allow you to loose your home thus ending up on the streets homeLESS. At this point you don't even know how to pray anymore and you see that hope start to disappear. Today management is filing the paperwork for eviction and I'm scared to death. I've never been without a roof over my head or a comfortable safe place to take refuge from the storms and the evilness in this world. I want to believe in a miracle. I want to believe that GOD will come in on His white horse and save the day. I am literally holding onto my faith for dear life. But at what point do I face the truth, start packing and give up? Because I have arrived at those crossroads today! But thinking about moving far away from my home is crushing and heart wrenching. Just thinking of leaving my church makes me want to cry! I just don't know what to do!!

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Loneliness

So as promised here is Part 2 to Part 1 - Singleness in the Church.

Have you ever been amongst a crowd and felt invisible or alone? I have and it doesn't matter the size of the crowd either...big or small crowds don't make a difference. I feel like I am going through a lot of transitions right now. And I have to admit I am not a fan of change especially when change is difficult. As you know I have no family around me - we're separated by states. :( So my church family has become my family.

But over the next 2 months my 2 closest friends will be leaving me. They have become my sounding board, my 2 strong pillars and my family! And soon I will be alone again!! Ugh I hate that! And though some might think I'm a social butterfly...I'm really not!! I hate walking into a room full a people by myself...it actually scares me! And even though I have other church friends...just thinking of going to church with out my close girls there scares me!

I wish it wasn't the case. But for now I see these girls on a pretty regular weekly basis outside of church and church related events. So this transitional period that is quickly approaching has made me sad and caused me to shed some tears even having a little tearful melt down during the women's prayer time at home group one night causing one of my close friends to tear up as well. Like I said I do not handle change well at all...haha!!

And on top of all this...I'm about to loose my home & am turning the BIG 3-0 in a few weeks. In which one of my close friends won't even be here for it let alone her BIG 3-0. Along with my family being far away I cant help but feel alone. And I hate feeling alone. So what do I do? How do I fix this loneliness...something I am sure I am not the only one struggling with! I think its good to talk to those closest to you about this topic because just like me you may find out that people who you didn't think are lonely actually are...and that you're not as alone in this department as you think!

Because it is so easy to put on a face and walk into a room full of people and act like everything is peachy-keen and couldn't be better...but that's fake and I don't want the body of Christ to be fake I want them to be real and I hope that they'd want me to be real as well.So me and my 2 closest friends (who are leaving me) have come up with a plan of action to combat my loneliness. In fact I'm going to tell you the same thing that I told someone when they asked me, "How do I fix being lonely?"

What I would suggest (I know this may be a little painful) is putting on your social butterfly hat and as much as you may not want to or are scared to - you need to bite the bullet and be social. You can ask your girlfriend's to introduce you to more people. I'd even ask them who they think you should be friends with. Especially if they're are some girls you aren't friends with already who you might really click with. :)

Every event that your church has or that people from your church throw and invite you to...go to it! It's a great way to make new friends. In fact I made a list of girls that I know and have spent some time with but really haven't gotten a chance to really get to know and who I plan to intentionally get to know better and nurture those friendships with. It's very possible that just as shy and scared as you might be so may they also be as well. But someone has to take the first step. Also realize that the friends you might be losing aren't gone for good, they're leaving doens't end your friendship it's just going to be a little different that;s all!

Also keep in mind that this may be a great time for you to try new things and a season GOD might use to bring you closer to Him. And after all He is the ultimate friend!! I'm not saying this transitional period is going to be easy...or even fun. Because if I'm being honest I am really dreading September and October. But I hope I will have gotten to know a lot more girls better by that time so that there will be less moments of loneliness and instead many opportunities for fellowship and some fun!

Plus with my girls that are leaving, there are always ways to stay in touch: email, regular mail, phone calls, visits (though Thailand might be too far) & of course skype. Just know no matter how alone we feel...we're never truly alone! Deuteronomy 31:6 "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Audience of "ONE"

With just starting this blog I have been getting some feedback. One feedback imparticular was the reason this blog almost ceased to exist last night! After their very harsh and insensitive critique (though I know that wasn't their intention)...I was left questioning what the point of this blog was!?! The critique basically said that in order for this blog to be read or even be successful I needed to change just about everything. Hurt and in tears I ended up having a heart to heart with GOD. And this is what HE had to say: "Your blog is not written for man but for ME!! I AM your audience! What man's opinion is doesn't matter because I AM calling you to write this blog and to share what you're posting."


This conversation quickly brought to mind a conversation I had earlier in the day with a guy friend. In which he cautioned me to not get caught up in the blog numbers (how many people following/how many comments). He said, "Your purpose on earth is really just to impact 1 life to win just 1 person to Christ." Some point during the conversation he said, "I hope GOD is speaking to you through me!!"...Pretty powerful - right!?! I feel like GOD gave me that earlier in the day knowing how the night was going to end with this crushing critique. Making me feel that sharing from the heart was a mistake and that what I brought to the table wasn't enough (a feeling I already struggle with on a regular basis). :(


This made me think of the authors of the Books of the Bible. What if they had gotten a negative perspective of what they were sharing & writing about and had given up and not finished writing their Book...what would have come of the Bible?? It certainly wouldn't be what it is today! Believe me...I'm not comparing my little blog to the awe-inspiring Books of the Bible, just using it as an example...Because late last night as I was talking to GOD through tears I went to this blog: Daniel-Snyder.blogspot.com and realized I had gotten a response about a question I had asked a few days earlier. In turn this individual decided to start  his own blog out of trying to respond to me. And his post "Hate the Sin, Love the Sinner”? What Does Your Friend Really Hear… is his response to my very question.


I had no idea just by asking a question I could have such a positive impact on someone. What an incredible feeling to know GOD had used me and how awesome of GOD to let me know this while I had been knocked down to the ground. This blog of his (ANotSoStraightPerspective.com) is now a powerful ministry he has to reach out to so many hurting people in ways most of us can't. And you'll understand what I mean by reading his blog.


It made me think of my friend; Joanna's blog: craftyhomeschoolmama.blogspot.com. Her post "Women, Choose Life" is about being careful what you say. The tongue is a powerful thing and your words can either encourage and edify or tear down and destroy. It can breathe so much life into someone and at the same time zap the life right out of them. Matthew 15:18 "But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person."


I know this all too well as I recently needed to reconcile with a friend because of this very thing. During our conversation I tried to express something which came out much different and very harsh. My hurtful words were attacking and discouraged us both! I felt just awful!...because my heart's desire was to edify, encourage & uplift while trying to express my feelings about something that had offended me not to tear down, discourage and have this person feel like we were on opposite sides. :(


As I look back at past conversations with various different people it just amazes me how in a single sentence you can encourage/uplift & destroy/tear down those closest to you. Sometimes completely with out knowing what you did and others (I hate to admit this) intentionally! I wish there was a rewind and erase button in those moments...because once it's said...it's too late to take it back and the damage is done! Of course you can repent and apologize and ask for forgiveness...but some of those harsh hurtful things can stay embedded in their minds...unfortunately! I know there's things those closest to me have said that I still remember to this day and vice versa...though I wish that wasn't the case!!


People of this world aren't always going to agree with what you say/do or even support you. That's when you remember who your audience is...your " Audience of ONE." This blog is for GOD...its like a public journal that He and I are writing together. :)


I may never know the impact this blog has on anyone. And that's ok...because it's not my job to keep the running total only GOD's! Who knows maybe it won't be until I'm in heaven that I found out the impact I have had on this world whether through this blog, my testimony, someone hearing me say I am a Christian and watching from a far as my behavior reflects Christ. I might not know until GOD introduces me to that person(s) and says, "On this day at this time when you were doing this you changed this person's life or this was the day so and so decided to follow Me because of you saying/doing this etc.


Hmmm....what an amazing introduction that would be!! Until that time there will be many opportunities for me to reflect Christ's love. I just need to keep my eyes on the goal (being living my life solely for an "Audience of ONE") and not be focused on the score board (Lives impacted #/ Lives Saved #).

Friday, August 3, 2012

Singleness in the Church

Hmmm...where do I start!?! I could probably talk your ear off regarding this subject...but I will spare you that...haha. Instead I will be talking about this in 2 parts: Part 1 - Singleness & Part 2 - Loneliness. By doing this maybe it will help me to shorten my posts...though unfortunately for you what would have been 1 post will now be 2....sorry for that!! :)


This is a topic that comes up often with my girlfriends and its usually out of frustration due to lack of action/initiation/pursuit on the guys part. Because I truly believe that it is the guys role to pursue and for the women to patiently and quietly (I know those are tough ones for us gals) to wait on the sidelines to be pursued.


I look at my AMAZING girlfriends and wonder what's the deal!?!...why hasn't a guy scooped them up yet? I got an interesting perspective when I talked to a guy friend and read a blog post about "Singleness" at here: Daniel-Snyder.blogspot.com...his blog is pretty cool but you'll have to check it out for yourself. ;)


I know for me it's hard to be part of a singles/young adults group of almost 200 singles when only a hand full are dating and yet our awesome Pastor says things like, "I think 90% of you will marry and it's likely your future spouse is in this room"...a room full of guys who may be pursuing some girls but it seems, as is typical that all the guys seem to like the same girls...oh that's just great! So my amazing friends and I don't even make the cut...yep that stinks!! So what are our options!?! What do we do!?! And is there even something we can do!?!...Highly doubtful, especially if you believe this is the guys domain.


Regarding the guys this is what I have learned: They have either lost the courage to take a risk, they're afraid of being rejected, they keep going after the same girls that the other guys are going for, they think that the next best thing is going to walk in the door and thus don't want to settle...and the list goes on and on!! Our Pastor said, "If GOD has given you the desires for marriage and intimacy and you have these sexual passions than marriage is for you." I believe at some point GOD will bring those desires and dreams to fruition with a spouse.


Until that time...I'm going to decide to look at this "Waiting period" differently than I have in the past. I'm going to realize that though the guys may not be interested in me and though that may have a huge impact on my self-worth, by making me feel unwanted, un-worthy of a guy's love & affection and not someone worthy to be pursued! I am going to try to remember this:  I am (You're) the daughter of a King...I am (You're) a Heavenly Princess - who is far more precious than all the jewels of the world. Proverbs 3:15 "She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her."


That I am (You're) a Proverbs 31 woman, a woman a Christian man would be blessed and honored to call his wife! That I (You) have so many talents and gifts that GOD isn't just going to let go to waste and that someday in the right time GOD will bring that "ONE" into my (Your)  life who will appreciate, admire and treasure those gifts/talents. That as a "Lady in Waiting" this is the time GOD is going to be teaching me (You) patience and the season He can use me (You) in ways He can't once I am  (You're) dating let alone married! That even though this dream may seem out of reach right now...not to lose hope but instead to remember it's just beyond the horizon.


Ultimately my (Your) worth and value is not defined by what relationship I am (You're) in but by who I am (You're) in Jesus Christ! I would suggest fervently praying for these Christian men...not so that they finally get the courage to ask you out! But so that when they do that, GOD has finished fully preparing them to be the men GOD created them to be to lead you and I and be the head of the household that we need them to be. Because if we join forces with these GODly men before GOD's perfect timing we might find ourselves needing to step into their role that they may be un-prepared to shine in at that moment in time.


And I don't know about you but I want the complete package I don't want to just get half of the package all because I was un-willing to wait for GOD to complete this work in him. I want GOD to have all the time He needs to prepare him, even if that means waiting longer (months even a year - LORD just please don't let it be years..haha). But GOD will give you the strength no matter the waiting period! I have faith...maybe we can have that faith together.


And for you guys out there...I feel the same way about us girls. You unfortunately may have to wait a little longer before pursuing us until GOD is finished molding us for you!! :)...But that's a pretty neat perspective isn't it...lucky you!! ;)




~~~ SORRY I tried to keep it short...but clearly that is a challenge especially when GOD is giving me so much good stuff to share. ~~~



Isaiah 43:19

Since the verse for this blog is Isaiah 43:19. I thought it would be good to share why that is. Isaiah 43:19 "I am going to do something new. It is already happening. Don’t you recognize it? I will clear a way in the desert. I will make rivers on dry land." During this season of "Walking with GOD in the Desert" I have been tested & tempted in ways I haven't before. In the midst of my suffering  GOD is already using it for my good & making a way for me to overcome the temptations & pass the tests to come out on the other side victoriously!  


I can tell you I didn't go into the desert willingly...in fact I don't think I realized I was in the desert until I hit that low point and was having to take cover from the the tornado headed toward me from the North, the hurricane from the south, the earthquake from the west and the tsunami from the east...When I was trying to take cover that's when I realized "Houston we have a problem" and that I was in trouble, struggling to stay afloat! Wandering for days...months even trying to process everything happening around me and dealing with the aftermath of the storms! Boy, can those storms be unpredictable - much like life!!


What do you do when the very foundation you stand on/believe in is shaken!?! I was hit with a broken relationship, loss of job, I was facing these things alone (my only support - my family was states away) & my very sense of security had been shaken and betrayed in an life-changing/unfathomable way! Yet here I was "Walking in the Desert" alone with the one person I was supposed to turn to and trust but who I had trouble trusting...because after all if He really loved me how could He allow these unthinkable things to happen when He had the power to stop them, to save me!!! How could I trust HIM???


But if I can't trust HIM..who can I trust!?! Because everyone else (family, friends even the president ;)) will let me down and if they haven't yet they will at some point! I think it's so easy to get caught up in our own lives and be consumed with everything going on around us...forgetting we're not the only ones who are unemployed, suffering from a broken heart or being betrayed by the ones we love the most! Plus I think when you lose trust in others it's hard to turn to GOD and trust Him!!


I love the meaning behind Isaiah 43:19...it gives me so much hope...especially as I continue to "Walk with GOD in the Desert" even wrestle with Him at times! And that's ok...He'd much rather you do that than to turn your back on Him and walk away from your relationship. Besides if you can't sustain a relationship with Him...how can you ever sustain a relationship with His people!?!..that's something to think about isn't!?! 


I realize now that in the midst of the storms I need to remember the battle has already been won! Genesis 50:20 "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." And just as Isaiah 43:19 so poetically says, "I am going to do something new. It is already happening. Don’t you recognize it? I will clear a way in the desert. I will make rivers on dry land."  Everything I am experiencing, going through, being tested by, tempted with...GOD is already doing something good with all that suffering....clearing the path for me...giving me an out to resist temptation so Satan won't cause me to stumble.


Because it's in those times of suffering that make us more vulnerable to sinning and Satan knows that and will use that against us...but in the midst of our trials let's hold to Isaiah 43:19, remembering during those difficult times that even though our suffering doesn't make sense  to us...GOD still is in control and knows what's going on behind the scenes. We just need to choose to trust Him when faced with the infamous unknown - Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." :)

Short N Sweet

Hello my blog followers:


I know my first 2 post have been super long and I am going to work on that for the next ones. It will be somewhat of a challenge but going forward I am going to try to keep them Short N Sweet. So be on the look out because some more posts are coming your way!! :)

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Child-like Faith...

I have always loved children, always knew my most favorite role would be to be a MOM someday!! Because of my love for children, I just love spending time with them and can’t get enough!...Being in the presence of children is absolute heaven for me! They simply amaze me!...Whether I’m looking into the eyes of my friend; Stephanie’s infant son Emerson or chasing my friend; Joanna’s 3 kids’ (Eden, Joshua & Josiah) around the yard or even going down the slide with my friend; Kelli’s little girl Grace. They're the very essence of pure joy!


I remember when I was visiting Kelli and Grace and I was going down the big slide with Grace on my lap.  Somehow we went down the slide way too fast and her leg or hand somehow got squished up against the side of the slide and she got hurt. I of course felt terrible and little Grace shed some tears but after her tears dried she was ready to try it again. I can tell you I didn’t feel the same way in fact I was scared to go down that slide again! Me a 29 yr old scared and her a 2 yr old not scared at all! It’s hard to fathom at times how resilient children are…no fear…ready to try things again…to take risks…to take on the world. It makes me wonder how as adults we got from there to here!
Because we were once children unafraid of anything yet now as adults due to experiences, trials & tests we’ve endured, past hurts & broken hearts we've gone through…We are now at a place where we know fear all too well, so much that we’re fearful to try things again! Especially if they didn’t work out the first time or we got burned or ended up looking like a fool. And taking risks!?! – Forget it!! I know for me there are days I don’t feel like facing the world because I am afraid I won’t live up to its expectations of me …let alone trying to take it on!


 But children have such a "gift for life" at their young age before their zeal is zapped or their dreams are dashed or they find that only story books have “happily ever after” endings and that super heroes really don’t exist. They trust with everything that they're, these children also have a child-like faith!!…The same faith we used to have and the faith GOD calls us to still have…a faith not shaped by the evilness of this world and what we believe GOD may or may not have allowed and could possibly have stopped. 

Mark 10:13-16 “People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” And he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them."
So is it possible after going through years and years of tests, trials and tribulations and our faith being shaken in unbelievable ways to still come to our Heavenly Father as little children do and trust and love Him as if we’d never been hurt, never let down, never abandoned?? Because the sins that have been committed against us by other people are not GOD’s fault…it’s just free will! Though the valley’s we’ve walked may have seemed lonely and dark…He was with us the entire way…never leaving our side...crying with us all the way! If anything He felt abandoned by us! I know that might be hard to believe and even hear…I do truly understand as I have walked through many lowly valley’s  - that at times I've felt I have walked all alone and it’s been hard!


I have gone through the worst trials/tests/tribulations in the last 3 yrs out in the desert than I have the 26 yrs prior and my question mostly has been “WHY?” “If you’re a just GOD “why” didn’t you stop what happened?” “Why, did you allow me to be hurt?” “Why, didn’t you rescue me?” Those are tough questions to ask our Heavenly Father who we know is all powerful and completely capable of saving us! And these questions are even tougher to try to answer and when answered are we truly satisfied with that answer!?!…Most times we’re not!! I hear the question, “Why do bad things happen to good people” asked a lot. The problem with that question is this: “When did we become good people?” We are born into sin into a fallen world we aren’t good …we are deserving of death!  
Romans 3:23 “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”
Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Only by the grace of GOD are we given the gift of eternal life that him laying his life on the cross paying the ultimate sacrifice for our sins…the only sacrifice that could be paid for our sins.”
Romans 4:25-5:2 “He was delivered over to death for our sins and then was raised to life to put us right with God. By faith in this, then, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand.”
 God does not promise us a life of rainbows and roses…but of trials and tests! 1 Thes 3:3 “None of you should turn back because of these persecutions. You yourselves know that such persecutions are part of God's will for us.”
Acts 14:22 "We all have to experience many hardships," they said, "before we enter the kingdom of God."
1 Pet 4:12-13 “Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.”
Deut 8:2-3 “Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. He humbled you... to teach you that man does not live by bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.”
2 Tim 3:12 “In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted, while evil men and impostors will go from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived.”



To be a follower of Christ is indeed a life filled with trials, tests & tribulations! Even scripture says it’s our destiny!!...

1 Thes 3:3 “So that no one would be unsettled by these trials. You know that we were destined for them.”



2 Tim 3:12 “Persecution is inevitable for those who are determined to live really Christian lives.”



1 Pet 1:6-7 “This means tremendous joy to you, even though at present you may be temporarily harassed by all kinds of trials. This is no accident--it happens to prove your faith, which is infinitely more valuable than gold, and gold, as you know, even though it is ultimately perishable, must be purified by fire.”



James 1:2-4 “When all kinds of trials and temptations crowd into your lives, don't resent them as intruders, but welcome them as friends! Realize that they come to test your faith and to produce in you the quality of endurance.”



2 Tim 1:8 “Accept your share of the hardship that faithfulness to the gospel entails in the strength that God gives you."


James 1:12 “Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.”

My time "Walking with GOD in the Desert" has been a journey down what seems a never ending valley!  A valley that has been really hard to endure! This refining fire has been no different than that of desert weather, hot and unbearable! And the experiences GOD has used to refine me have been painful, difficult, unbearable and boy have I felt the heat!!…So much so that  I’ve wanted to run away from it all…as if GOD couldn’t find me…haha! :)  I’ve learned you can’t run away from the difficult things in life…you have to face them head on and by doing so you will be greatly blessed when you see what comes out of persevering. That GOD has redeemed the experiences for your good to benefit you and ultimately how He has used YOU to bring Glory to the Kingdom!!!

Romans 5:3-5 “Not only so, but we[a] also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”

So let's persevere together turning to our Heavnely Father in the midst of the trial, tests and tribulations with that of a child-like faith!! :)






Waiting for a Miracle...

So I am on the verge of being evicted and praying to GOD - waiting on/expecting a “miracle”. Hoping that in the 12th hour He will step in and rescue me from eviction and being homeless. So I decided to watch the faith based movie called "Expecting a Miracle" and in the movie the question, "Have you ever witnessed a real-life miracle, like seeing water turned into wine" was asked!?! This question made me think, and in turn caused me to ask myself if I have ever witnessed a “miracle”. So I started journaling all the things in my life that are “miracles” that I havewitnessed. I also looked up the definition of "Miracle" which is this: 1) An effect or extraordinary event in the physical world that surpasses all known human or natural powers and is ascribed to supernatural cause, 2) Such an effect or event manifesting or considered as a work of GOD & 3) A wonder; marvel.

So there are 3 different definitions for the word "miracle"...does that mean that there are 3 different kinds of "miracles" that exist each being on a different level of wonder and marvel!?! I thought back over the 29 yrs of my life and GOD actually brought to mind 17 “miracles” some directly dealing with me or some that were “miracles” having to do with a loved one. Either way I witnessed them! I am going to share a few of these "Miracles" with you:


1) My Conception: I thought best to start at the very beginning. I know you are probably wondering where am I going with this as most people would say that every child is indeed a "Miracle" a gift of GOD (and agree). But my story actually starts before I was even conceived!! My mom was pregnant with her first, a child they believed to be a boy and who they named Michael David. He was due May 15, 1982 but my parents suffered a miscarriage with Michael and instead he died September 26, 1981. In Nov 1981 my parents both awoke from having the same dream..a dream foretelling them that they'd conceive again in Jan 1982. And true to their dream they did indeed conceive in Jan 1982 and by May 15, 1982 (Michael's due date) they were 4 months pregnant with me only for me to be born Sept 26, 1982, exactly a year to the day when they loss Michael. Do people have miscarriages?...yes! Do they conceive and carry a child when they should have been pregnant with a child they had loss earlier?...yes!...But how many people's conception or very existence is foretold before the stick turns blue let alone before they're even "conceived"!?! And if Michael had been born...I wouldn't be here. Which has often caused me to ask GOD...”Why me"?? But clearly there is a purpose to my existence that only I can fulfill and Michael I guess had fulfilled his during his short pre-born life.


2) Head injury: When I was a teenager I was playing around with some of my guy friends doing cart wheels and back bends. When my guy friend who was spotting me removed his hands and my forehead hit the cement floor pushing back into my spine causing my spine to move out of place and causing my forehead to swell out. But by the grace of GOD the MRI revealed no damage...no damage of any kind!! A head injury that should have left me either brain damaged or paralyzed. Head injuries are a serious thing even minor head injuries less severe than mine have caused permanent and life altering damage for its victims. Yet my head hasn't and continues to not impair me from doing everything I did before my injury. I’m not trying to make light of that difficult time with my head injury because it was scary and caused severe migraines & pain but even during that time of the unknown…GOD was still there and is still good!! That injury was over 10 yrs ago and I still continue to be completely healthy. How can this not be a "miracle"!?!


3) Horrific Car Accident: I have 2 family members that have been in bad car accidents. The first one was hit while on his motorcycle. He was killed and brought back to life...but because of the lack of oxygen to his brain he does have some brain damage and to this day hasn't been the same since before the accident. Now the other one was driving his friend’s car home after a late night of partying and totaled the car when he fell asleep at the wheel and crashed the car into the cabled median on the highway. The crashed car was actually suspended in air by the cables. And yet he walked away unharmed not a bruise or scratch was found on him. The doctors and police officers all said it was a "miracle" he was alive!..But unfortunately this September 1st will mark the 1 yr anniversary of when my good friend; Dirk was killed in a car accident, when a driver on the other side of the road swerved into his lane killing him…


I don't know why some die and some live...why some are spared and others become victims. I think I have probably asked GOD "Why" more than any other question. But after making a list of all the miracles he's given me in my life...I realized that He is more than capable of rescuing me from eviction. And at a time when I've been harping on all the times GOD didn't save me...I need to remember all the times He did!! I think the waiting period can be long and hard and difficult at times to trust Him...But how can I not trust Him!?! When I look back at the "miracles" and see all the good He has done in my life. I have to ask myself, "What more does He have to do to show me...to prove to me He is trustworthy"!?!...


And the answer should be NOTHING, because even if He hadn't have performed all these "miracles" in my life He did perform one of the greatest one's known to mankind...Dying on the cross and rising from the dead! Him dying for you and me is truly enough for us to know HE is indeed trustworthy!!!