Friday, August 3, 2012

Singleness in the Church

Hmmm...where do I start!?! I could probably talk your ear off regarding this subject...but I will spare you that...haha. Instead I will be talking about this in 2 parts: Part 1 - Singleness & Part 2 - Loneliness. By doing this maybe it will help me to shorten my posts...though unfortunately for you what would have been 1 post will now be 2....sorry for that!! :)


This is a topic that comes up often with my girlfriends and its usually out of frustration due to lack of action/initiation/pursuit on the guys part. Because I truly believe that it is the guys role to pursue and for the women to patiently and quietly (I know those are tough ones for us gals) to wait on the sidelines to be pursued.


I look at my AMAZING girlfriends and wonder what's the deal!?!...why hasn't a guy scooped them up yet? I got an interesting perspective when I talked to a guy friend and read a blog post about "Singleness" at here: Daniel-Snyder.blogspot.com...his blog is pretty cool but you'll have to check it out for yourself. ;)


I know for me it's hard to be part of a singles/young adults group of almost 200 singles when only a hand full are dating and yet our awesome Pastor says things like, "I think 90% of you will marry and it's likely your future spouse is in this room"...a room full of guys who may be pursuing some girls but it seems, as is typical that all the guys seem to like the same girls...oh that's just great! So my amazing friends and I don't even make the cut...yep that stinks!! So what are our options!?! What do we do!?! And is there even something we can do!?!...Highly doubtful, especially if you believe this is the guys domain.


Regarding the guys this is what I have learned: They have either lost the courage to take a risk, they're afraid of being rejected, they keep going after the same girls that the other guys are going for, they think that the next best thing is going to walk in the door and thus don't want to settle...and the list goes on and on!! Our Pastor said, "If GOD has given you the desires for marriage and intimacy and you have these sexual passions than marriage is for you." I believe at some point GOD will bring those desires and dreams to fruition with a spouse.


Until that time...I'm going to decide to look at this "Waiting period" differently than I have in the past. I'm going to realize that though the guys may not be interested in me and though that may have a huge impact on my self-worth, by making me feel unwanted, un-worthy of a guy's love & affection and not someone worthy to be pursued! I am going to try to remember this:  I am (You're) the daughter of a King...I am (You're) a Heavenly Princess - who is far more precious than all the jewels of the world. Proverbs 3:15 "She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her."


That I am (You're) a Proverbs 31 woman, a woman a Christian man would be blessed and honored to call his wife! That I (You) have so many talents and gifts that GOD isn't just going to let go to waste and that someday in the right time GOD will bring that "ONE" into my (Your)  life who will appreciate, admire and treasure those gifts/talents. That as a "Lady in Waiting" this is the time GOD is going to be teaching me (You) patience and the season He can use me (You) in ways He can't once I am  (You're) dating let alone married! That even though this dream may seem out of reach right now...not to lose hope but instead to remember it's just beyond the horizon.


Ultimately my (Your) worth and value is not defined by what relationship I am (You're) in but by who I am (You're) in Jesus Christ! I would suggest fervently praying for these Christian men...not so that they finally get the courage to ask you out! But so that when they do that, GOD has finished fully preparing them to be the men GOD created them to be to lead you and I and be the head of the household that we need them to be. Because if we join forces with these GODly men before GOD's perfect timing we might find ourselves needing to step into their role that they may be un-prepared to shine in at that moment in time.


And I don't know about you but I want the complete package I don't want to just get half of the package all because I was un-willing to wait for GOD to complete this work in him. I want GOD to have all the time He needs to prepare him, even if that means waiting longer (months even a year - LORD just please don't let it be years..haha). But GOD will give you the strength no matter the waiting period! I have faith...maybe we can have that faith together.


And for you guys out there...I feel the same way about us girls. You unfortunately may have to wait a little longer before pursuing us until GOD is finished molding us for you!! :)...But that's a pretty neat perspective isn't it...lucky you!! ;)




~~~ SORRY I tried to keep it short...but clearly that is a challenge especially when GOD is giving me so much good stuff to share. ~~~



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