I think the dynamics of relationships are very complex. I mean we are all relational beings, who desire intimacy and relationships with others. Trying to keep that relationship afloat can be challenging. A relationship takes 2 people. You both have to intentionally work at it. The more you spend time together, get to know one another and become part of each other's day to day life, you either continue to grow or you grow apart.
If you continue to grow closer...eventually your life goals and future plans (marriage, family etc.) are inevitably brought up and discussed. You may even be discussing future plans as a couple... a couple dreaming a life together and thus putting all your future hopes and dreams into that person, into that relationship.
But what happens when all the planning and all the dreams for your future come to a screeching halt and that magic carpet you've been flying on up on cloud 9 is unexpectedly pulled right out from underneath you? What happens when your dreams are shattered, your hopes dashed and all you're left with is a broken heart? What do you do?
As I have looked back over my past broken relationships. I've realized something I didn't and maybe couldn't realize at the time. Those valley's were actually opportunities for me to grow and I now have info I didn't before. It's hard to know why things happened when you're still in the midst of the pain and the heartache. But looking back and seeing where these guys are now I am confident in saying, "Praise GOD for un-answered prayer!" Where these guys are now and the lives that they're living are not where I am or would want to be or the life I would want to live.
I am now able to look back and see the things that I either couldn't see or refused to see about these guys and realize now that GOD was actually protecting me! Poor GOD, because boy did I wrestle with Him a couple of times. But He can see so much further into the future than I can. There were times when I got so caught up in the emotions of the relationship that all I could see into the future was our big dreams that we had dreamed up together. The pure bliss I was feeling (at the time) caused me to dismiss some red flags and miss the the road signs up ahead that read, "Caution"..."Slow Down"..."Wrong Way"..."Do Not Enter"..."Stop"..."Dead End".
Of course I'm not saying that all these guys were bad. There were a number of reason's for why these relationships ended. Some times we wanted different things, sometimes they were jerks and other times they didn't value their faith as much as I did. But all in all they were just bad guys for me.
I've come to realize that when I am unable to let go of a relationship or do what I need to do to end it, GOD will sometimes step in and shut that door. I have actually prayed to Him in the past to shut doors that I knew I didn't have the courage to close myself. Some have taught me taught me much about my self, the kind of relationship I want and warning signs to avoid relationships I don't want to be in. 1 Corinthians 15:33 "Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”
All in all these relationships have taught me the importance of a strong foundation in every aspect of my life especially relationships. That a relationship should be built on the foundation of the Word of GOD and Jesus Christ alone! It's so important that as a Christian I date only like minded Christians...that I am not unequally yoked in my dating life. 2 Corinthians 6:14 " Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?"
Even though my dreams may have been shattered, my hopes dashed and my heart broke! It is GOD and His will with who I entrust my dreams and desires. It is God who I turn to when hope is difficult to find. And it is GOD who carries my heart, comforts my heart and heals my heart!! Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
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